Red Bang Bang Customer Just Happy to Find Actual Meat in Meal

Lexington’s cheapest Chinese cuisine has achieved a great deal of publicity after a customer claimed to have been served a dead mouse — and it’s done the restaurant wonders. Over the past year Red Bang Bang’s corporate big-wigs radically altered its entire business model by increasing scoops of Chinese classics from $1 to an outrageous $1.10, and only keeping their doors open until 10pm instead of the usual 3am close. These changes devastated their late-night college customers and weakened the appeal of Red Bang Bang, until now. Rumors have spread swiftly of the restaurant allegedly serving 100% natural Bluegrass meat, and thousands have heard.

An excerpt from the customer’s Yelp review explained:

bang bang

Reports indicate that some Lexingtonians are pitching tents in front of the Maxwell Street business, craving rodent delicacies with their chicken-fried rice as soon as doors (hopefully) open Monday.

– Burris Jenkins


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