Greek Awards: A Look At The Fraternity Nominees

Winter 2016 is off to a great start for Transy’s Greek men, as miraculously not a single chapter is on social probation. Hype is reaching fever pitch for the 2016 Greek Awards, so let’s take a look at our fraternity nominees in depth before the big day:

Phi Kappa Tau:

  • Held first ever Soccer Ball formal
  • 55% brahs / 45% bruhs
  • Annual kielbasa sausage-eating contest was major success
  • Negotiating philanthropic sponsorship with Natural Light
  • Yearly Canada trips fulfill passion for studying abroad
  • Adding final touches to bronze statue of Nash Laungani

Pi Kappa Alpha:

  • 125 years of dark tradition at Transylvania
  • Actually invincible
  • Quadrupled membership this year
  • Re-celebrating first year anniversary of being on campus
  • One brother holds 7 offices
  • Alumni promising pledge class of 2016 new Lexus for every member

Delta Sigma Phi:

  • Excitedly checking Tnet for grades is only brotherhood event
  • 15 heteronormative campus sing wins in a row
  • 56% nerds, 29% gay, 18% both
  • Made Taylor Swift famous
  • Introduced resume building to ritual this year
  • Last Sig function had record four girls in attendance

Kappa Alpha Order:

  • Coolest officer titles
  • An order, not a fraternity
  • Promoting gluten-free wheat, barley, and alfalfa diet
  • 97.6% off-campus
  • Another year carefully avoiding Civil War spoilers
  • Still going to be more successful than you

– Burris Jenkins


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