Philosophy Major Forced to Steal Textbooks for Ethics Class

A suspect believed to be responsible for last week’s bookstore robbery has been taken into custody. D.P.S. claims that senior philosophy major M.J. Meade stole four books from the store, valuing over 900 dollars. The books, Meade claims, were for his Ethical Theory class. When asked for comment, Meade had the following to say, “Is it so wrong for a man to steal a loaf of bread in order to feed his starving family? As a philosophy major, I felt that I needed to be able to answer this question since I’ll probably be in this exact situation in the nearish future. Within the books, I sought to find this answer. Only now can I finally begin to see the possible moral implications of what I’ve done.”

Meade has thus far refused to admit any wrongdoing on his own part, claiming that he is unable to make this judgment until he has completed the course.

A spokesperson for the bookstore, released the following statement: “We here at Follett are simply mortified by these actions and cannot begin to understand the compulsion to cheat a business out of its hard-earned money. This is simply unacceptable. Those books had value, even if Amazon does sell them at prices that are comically low compared to ours.”

The anonymous tipster who aided in Meade’s capture was reportedly rewarded with a bookstore gift card valuing $50 or, as it applies to its recipient, ¼ of a Lifetime Fitness textbook.

-Abraham Drake


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