SGA President Could Be Anyone At This Point

In a blunderous move, literally hundreds of students, celebrities, historical figures and even animals ran for SGA president this year, making the decision and votes way too confusing for administration to come to a verdict. The dog from Up pulled a good amount of the canine population’s vote, but did not get a majority over the super-popular Air Bud. Honestly, it’s any one’s game at this point as Transy’s deans carefully pick through the thousands of online, paper, and granite slab votes that have piled up. In a statement today, Transylvania has announced the top contenders so far:


1999 Britney Spears

britney

The ghost of Patrick Swayze

swayze2

The entire cast of Full House

full house

Drake’s emotional side

drake

Thoroughbred racing legend, Secretariat 

horse

Vin Diesel

vin_mad

Your dick cousin Chad

chad

Air Bud

air bud

A gust of wind

Two businessmen kneeling on pavement, reaching for paper blowing in wind

Fresh Prince-era Will Smith

will smith

White privilege

white priv

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

kevin_james_in_paul_blart_mall_cop_wallpaper_2-1280x960

A handsome construction worker from New A

construction

The Iluminati

confirmed

Coach Cal’s hair

coach cal


The Transy student body awaits the official announcement with much excitement, as the Fresh Prince of Bel Aire has a great relationship with administration, and Secretariat holds much promise with fiscal responsibilities. We will keep you covered as further developments are released.

-Burris Jenkins

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