LEXINGTON,KY – Following in a tradition of dedicating its residences after misguided leaders, the Transylvania administration is again facing scrutiny after revealing the nominee of its most recent student housing – Joseph Goebbels, who barely edged out such other high-profile contenders as Pol Pot, Josef Stalin, and R. Owen Williams.
“We could not be more proud to honor such a fervent patriot,” one school official said during the building’s dedication ceremony. “As we close on the illustrious careers of Jefferson Davis and Henry Clay halls, we still wish to continue a campus tradition of honoring short-sighted political agendas.”
However, the former Nazi propaganda minister has proven a divisive figure for some members of the campus and local community. Citing obvious ties to a history of xenophobia and nationalistic fervor, opponents of the planned “Joseph Goebbels Hall” have demanded a reconsideration of the proposed name.
“Racism? In the South?” said one concerned student,” I can’t believe it.”
The university has yet to make a public statement in the face of these allegations, though a new dining option was announced in a weekend meeting of the board. Ground is expected to be broken on the “Mahatmas Gandhi All-U-Can Eat Buffet” within the coming months.
— Abraham Drake